Integrating Systemic Awareness and Nonviolence into Our Teaching

Miki Kashtan, Certified NVC Trainer
Time Investment: 4 hours 1 minute, plus handouts
Recorded in 2020

𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟬 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗮𝗷𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗹𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀:

• Public health crisis emerging from the Coronavirus infecting humans
• Governance crisis manifesting especially in global protests against police brutality and governments more generally
• Economic crisis unfolding from responses to the pandemic

And as a result, many of us who share NVC with others have been feeling a growing unease about our roles. I have heard from quite a few who want to go beyond using NVC primarily as a personal growth tool within the market economy, and often don't know how to do so. This course is designed to respond to this need by supporting anyone who shares NVC with others – regardless of experience or certification – in opening to the way systemic perspectives deepen and transform how we bring NVC to people, communities, and organizations.

𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲 𝗢𝘂𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲

The course is comprised of three 90-min sessions that were held on three consecutive days.

𝗦𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝟭: 𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰 𝗔𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻

In our current mindset, whenever needs are not met all eyes focus on individuals. NVC teaches us to shift from punitive perspectives based on right/wrong thinking to a view of all actions as an attempt to meet needs. As NVC is usually taught, participants don't learn why we choose specific strategies, why some needs are glorified and others denigrated – and why those may vary between and within cultures – or why we have a story that locates everything in the individual. A systemic awareness that is rooted in understanding the historical, political, and economic roots of much individual behavior de-personalizes what we do and what is done to us, and invites seeing all of us as deeply shaped by our collective history and current social locations. This kind of awareness can fundamentally shift how we look at NVC, what we will choose to learn in addition in order to make our teaching relevant to others across many differences, and how we can bring NVC to bear on situations that have dramatically different purposes from personal healing, growth, or even liberation.

𝗦𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝟮: 𝗡𝗩𝗖 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗟𝗶𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻

Patriarchy, the root system that has given rise to all forms of oppression – starting with the oppression of women and children, and continuing to oppression based on newly created categories such as class, race, religion, and ethnicity – emerges from scarcity, functions in separation, and results in powerlessness. Liberation, individually and collectively, proceeds by restoring capacity in the opposite direction: what was lost last is restored first, and we move towards life instead of away from life. Our liberation shifts us from powerlessness to choice, from separation to togetherness, and from scarcity to flow. The path of liberation embraces nonviolence as the full flowering of humanity. This session examines specific and concrete ways in which NVC principles and practices support this move, beyond a communication template. Examples include:

• Vulnerability, including the willingness to inhabit our needs without knowing if they will ever be met; making requests even when we may hear a "no"; and speaking only from what we know (observations, internal states, and the present moment) all support choice.
• Embracing all feelings and bringing tenderness to our experience supports movement from right/wrong thinking into tenderness for all, which supports togetherness even in the face of disagreements.
• Mourning and celebration, which lead to willingness to give and willingness to receive, support movement toward putting all needs, impacts, and resources on the table instead of focusing on who deserves what when decisions need to be made.

𝗦𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝟯: 𝗔𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗡𝗩𝗖 𝗖𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗗𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀

Understanding how our socialization into different positions within society is entirely different from anything essential about us allows us to open up to the possibility that all we learned about NVC may not apply to a world divided along so many lines. We are not equal, and we are not all the same, even if we long for commonality and togetherness. Every component of the NVC template is deeply shaped by differences in power and culture. This session explores these influences and offers pathways to strengthen capacity. Examples include:

• Observations: How do we recognize that who is observing shapes what is noticed? How do we describe patterns in observational language?
• Feelings: How do we account for danger in expressing certain feelings depending on social location? (e.g., Black women in the US receiving backlash for anger; men being ridiculed for vulnerability.)
• Needs: How do we face the reality that some needs are systematically prioritized? How do we expand capacity to attend to all needs?
• Requests: How do we learn to say “no” if socialized not to? How do we make true requests if habituated to having needs prioritized?
• Empathy: How do we open to needs and perspectives of people with different power, culture, or capacity to connect?
• Feedback: How do we hear impact without defensiveness when we have more power? How do we offer feedback without implying intention when we have less power?

𝗕𝗼𝗻𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀:

• A significant annotated bibliography of non-NVC works to support lifelong learning about history, economics, sociology, and more
• A list of packets and blog posts on NVC practices informed by liberation and nonviolence
• A list of resources to support deep understanding of power and cultural differences, including how NVC contributes to a liberation perspective and how NVC itself changes when awareness of differences is integrated