Jim & Jori Manske, Certified NVC Trainer:

Listen to Jim and Jori Manske share their understanding of discernment to gain clarity, insight, and wisdom for making life-serving distinctions and choices.

Discernment Exercise: Using the "Four Choices" for Self-Empathy

Once each day, write down a message you found difficult to hear...

Imagine receiving the message and then internally responding with each of these choices:

1. Judgmental (Jackal) Ears Out
Voice of Anger
Blame or criticize the other person
"It's your fault." "You are _________." "You should ______."

Write how you might talk to yourself with this choice.
Consider what needs may be met with this choice.
Consider what needs may be unmet with this choice.

2. Judgmental (Jackal) Ears In
Voice of Guilt, Shame and Depression
Blame or criticize yourself
"It's my fault.""I am __________." "I should ______."

Write how you might talk to yourself with this choice.
Consider what needs may be met with this choice.
Consider what needs may be unmet with this choice.

3. Generative (Giraffe) Ears In
Voice of Self-compassion
Connect to your internal experience of feelings and needs
"I'm feeling_______, because I need/value______."

Write how you might talk to yourself with this choice.
Consider what needs may be met with this choice.
Consider what needs may be unmet with this choice.

4. Generative (Giraffe) Ears Out
Voice of Empathy
Connect to the feelings and needs of the other person
"So, ____________ is important to you..."

Write how you might talk to yourself with this choice.
Consider what needs may be met with this choice.
Consider what needs may be unmet with this choice.

From this place of consideration and self-connection, imagine receiving the difficult message, then choose how you would like to respond.

© 2010 peaceworks, Jim and Jori Manske

Keywords:

- consciousness
- core beliefs
- exercises/practices
- feelings
- honesty
- observation
- presence
- self empathy
- strategies
- intention
- personal growth
- self compassion
- self connection
- disagreement is progress
- authenticity
- discernment
- Jim and Jori Manske
- Jim Manske
- Jori Manske